your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
