Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
