help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
