i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
