I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i have two assholes
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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