we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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