he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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