PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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