i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
