Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
