i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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