maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
