WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize