There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
