I'm going to jail i love you
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
