My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
