i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize