Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
