Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
