My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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