Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
