drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think my vagina is haunted
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
