I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want her autograph on my taint
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
