i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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