dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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