i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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