I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
