dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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