your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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