she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
