dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
