Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
