dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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