Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize