All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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