My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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