Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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