Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
