wake up i wanna do it froggy style
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
