I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found puke in my bra..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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