I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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