names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
