You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
