Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
