I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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