i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
