Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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