I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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