Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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