I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My vagina is officially offended.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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