Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
