She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
