I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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