haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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