Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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