So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you will always have a special place in my vag
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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