so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
