I'm drive I can fine osifer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
