It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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