some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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