I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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