whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
