She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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