I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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