Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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