OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
