Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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