At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize